the fucking beauty myth

June 13, 2010 tinybitfemme

i found this article in Xtra! quite intriguing. this quote here is what got me…

“[being femme] forces us to confront our dismissive, anti-feminine assumptions on a moment-to-moment basis: if she’s showing cleavage, she’s not a feminist; if she shaves, she’s not political; if she’s pretty, she’s unintelligent; if she’s fat, she can’t be sexy; if she’s sexy, she can’t be taken seriously.

Practising femme is taking direct action against the patriarchy.”  (thanks Luna Allison)

the reason this got me is because it reminded me of way back when. oh. back when i was so young and i read The fucking Beauty Myth. fucking naomi wolf screwed with my head big time. i didn’t shave for almost a year. i threw away my sparse little make up collection. i stuck ever more consistently to my uniform of jeans and t-shirt. i got into arguments with boys who thought my hairy legs were “gross.”

now don’t get me wrong. i don’t blame naomi. she’s absolutely right that women are held up to impossible “ideals” of beauty and that our society places some demand on women to conform to these ideals. i was so offended by the notion of being expected to live up to an impossible standard that i rebelled in the most basic way – do the opposite! i wanted to take action against the patriarchy! but after a while i started to come back to myself. i realized i was happier with smooth legs. with the option of wearing mascara if i wanted to. with feeling pretty in my own particular way.

it’s the demand – the expectation – that women participate in the typical beauty rituals that is offensive (well, that’s one of the things that’s offensive). and it’s appearing to meet that expectation that brings femmes into this nowhere land of not being recognized for who they are. but what’s great is, we have choices. we can choose to wear a dress, show cleavage, wear make up and fancy earrings and high heels if we want to – or not. we can cherry pick what we like and want of these rituals and be feminine and feminist at once. and what’s even more great? by sleeping with hot, sexy, butch women, we’re still taking action against the patriarchy!

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